Life

Well finally got most of my information i needed to know. I found out it's stage 3 throat and neck cancer. It's a little worse then thought it was. It's worse on the left of my neck and just starting on the right side. On my left side u can see it easy it looks like i have a golf ball in my neck. Here is what may be my treatment plan they one to use one of the most stronger chemo and radation because they want to nail it hard and try to cure me. I have two options for chemo one is very strong it will very bad side effects second is almost same medicine but side effects are not as bad and works better with my kind of cancer. But to get second kind you have to be approved for a study but my doctor thinks i will get it because i'am in advance stages. Now because radation side effects i will have to get a feeding tube but in to help me eat and they said i already lost to much weigh and i'am to weak so it will build me back up that way. Also have to get a port put into my chest they said my veins are to tiny so they won't be able to hook me up to chemo without a port. They also told me i will not be able to care for my children while i'am sick even a little cold can send me to hospital. I know alot of people will not agree with this but my kids father is going to come up and help me with the kids. Between him and my brother. Everything i choose to do is based on what is best for my children and what i need to get better for them so i can care for them again. They are very excited to have him come back and so am i because i know i will get the rest i need. I know i will recover so please don't think other wise. I'am so blessed and finally realized how many good friends and family i have out there. If it wasn't for them i would be lost. And a special thanks to my brother who has put his life on hold to help me. Also to Diane Wilson and Sean Deweese use two have done so much to help me and Kayleigh even before i found out i had cancer and for that i will always be grateful to both of use. And of corse my wonderful mother who is also ill but is dead set on helping me and my children. And my step dad for being there and also supporting me.And my sisters Sherri & Sharon for all the supports. If it wasn't for all them we would be lost. Thank you soo much.

Forever

I feel like it's taking forever to start this treatment or just to get answers. It's been almost a month since i found out i had cancer and i am still sitting here waiting. I have been lucky up till now even though i have had this i have felt good all but just a little tired. But now i feel a little pain in the back of my throat and my new side effect everytime i drink something half goes down my throat and half out my nose my god it is soo gross.  I must just being inpatient i feel like my life is at a standstill intill  i get better. And how can i get better when i don't even have all the answers. Well hopefully by thursday i will have all my answers answerd. God bless and enjoy the hoilday week.